Desensitized?

This morning as I rode the bike towards work, I slowed up for a 4-way stop sign on Xerxes Ave, one of the more pot-holey and tense parts of my route. An oncoming Ford pickup had its left turn signal on and had beaten me to the stop, so I waited for him to turn.

On the bike the senses work a little differently. Sound matters a lot more. I heard a vehicle approaching from behind and knew that it was coming too fast. I was well to the right of the road, so I didn't fear getting rear-ended.

As soon as I saw the oncoming pickup start to turn I knew there would be a crash, before the handyman van came flashing into the left of my vision, ran the stop sign and smacked into the bed of the truck, sending a mix of plastic and glass across the road. I barely flinched. Both drivers seemed okay. The truck driver looked pissed and the van driver was wide-eyed, but they were able to pull over and get out of traffic so I pedaled through.

What bothered me was my lack of reaction. My heart wasn't racing, I wasn't any more concerned for my own safety than usual. I just continued along my route and went to work. The event held so little significance that I didn't even tell anybody about it or think about it again until just a few minutes ago. That seems messed up.